Hotel Hellifornia
The Hotel Hellifornia has somewhat deteriorated recently, moving from the dizzy heights of its heyday as a second-rate doss house, to the less ambitious present state as a disgusting squalid dump. The only cleaner the establishment has ever known was dismissed some five years previously, for the crime of not turning up for work for the previous six months. Although, in fairness, it should be pointed out that she had been dead for quite some time by then.

The State Hostelry Safety Officers, who visit the Hotel Hellifornia every other decade, have always found the establishment to be a model of safety. The incumbent safety officer receives a ready-made report from the inn owner every year with the required fee of one hundred State Promissory Notes tucked away inside the envelope and delivered straight to his office.

Shitton Park Hotel
The Hotel Hellifornia has somewhat deteriorated recently, moving from the dizzy heights of its heyday as a run down dump, to the less ambitious present state as a very dusty squalid dump. The only cleaner the establishment had ever known had been dismissed some five years previously, for the crime of not turning up for work for the previous six months. Although, in fairness, it should be pointed out that she had been dead for some months by this time.

The State Hostelry Safety Officers who visit the Hotel Hellifornia every other decade have always found the establishment to be a model of safety. The incumbent safety officer receives a ready-made report from the inn owner every year with the required fee of one hundred State Promissory Notes tucked away inside the envelope and delivered straight to his office.

Eye Witness:The Glorious History of the State in Black & White
Read Old Mrs McNally's account of the times before and after the Social Severity Act:

"I remembers the days before the Social Severity Act. Ah, good times. In those days I could sit outside the public houses and laugh out aloud as I watched the New Model Militia beat seven colours of crap out of some poor unfortunate idiot that had wandered too close to the flame of Purity.

It's all so different now. It's strictly against the Common Law to have a good time on the city streets. Now I has to turn away in case a grin cracks across my beaten old face, or a chuckle tries to raise its troublesome head and escape my vile, toothless mouth.

That damn Act took all the fun out of life. The austerity of the Party of Puritans is absolute. The Party are very serious about seriousness.

I can't even enquire as to the crime perpetrated by the dissident now, even as they is getting arrested. I remembers one particular occasion. I was younger then, only in me sixties, and I had watched as some young fool had the foolhardiness to stroll up to a Militia patrol as they were giving a distributor of seditious pamphlets a very useful lesson in how to defend yourself against ten large men armed with big sticks, and asking that very question.

Well, the Militia sergeant co-ordinating the training exercise was reading through the blasphemous green leaflets and shaking his head in disgust. He stopped and turned, stared at the poor fool for a couple of seconds, and then smiled a very nasty smile, all teeth and no humour. I remembers what he said, 'For interfering in the Purity of the Party's work by asking a very stupid question, without properly prepared documentation, the authority to do so, and without even consulting your local subcommittee.'

I never did find out what eventually happened to that questioning fool. I heard something about him receiving some tips on how to crawl out of a ring of kicking boots, on accounts of a stamp on his papers being slightly off centre, but I 'ain't too sure.

The last I saw of him was his tooth, as it landed next to me feet. Which was quite lucky really. I got a hundred State Promissory Notes for the gold filling."

Mrs McNally's name has been added to the OSS arrest sheet.

Failure to report a crime, allowing a crime to take place, or being victim of a crime through carelessness or incompetence, constitutes committing the crime.

The Party is watching. The Party is listening. The Party knows all.