Office of Citizen Misinformation
You are here:
Office of State Security
Bureau of Official Denial
Citizen Census & Internal Security
State Labour Ministry
Office of Supreme Minister
Ministry of Taxation & Burden
Ministry of Citizen Misinformation & Enlightenment
Citizens New Model Militia
Loneliness City Guide Booke
Labour Camps
Gamblers & Mugs Association
Black Market
City Hotel Star Award
Shitton Park Hotel
The Mayfly Hotel
Hotel Hellifornia
Prisons & Hostels
Pickle Street Market
State Spartan Shops
Prohibited Products
Queue Lengths
Duty & Taxes
Export Restrictions
Social Severity Act
Employment Prospects
Neighbourhood Shop Scheme




Authorisation Papers


Pickle Street Market:
Shopping: Fun & Restrictions

Located just a stone's throw from the Palace of the Supreme Minister, Pickle Street Market is infamous for its food, cheap goods, and long queues.

The food in the market arrives ready-rotten and unfit for healthy consumption, by-passing the need for the marketers to invest in storerooms and wait until their wares are ready to fall to pieces before placing it on their stalls.

Among the many delights to be found is the infamous Black Outland Apple, a fruit that grows to the size of a football, with a black cankerous hard outer shell known to be fatal to the unsuspecting and lead to the premature wearing of a cardboard coffin.

Intermingled with these odious exotic fruits are several varieties of Outland potato that grow in the poisoned earth lines that cut a swathe across the lands of the eastern coasts. These vegetables are traditionally scrubbed wearing heavy gloves, boiled to a mush, which is then squeezed through an extremely fine mesh in a bid to remove most of the nine hundred and seventy-three known pollutants that inhabit them.

Off all the potatoes available, Eastern Commons are the most popular variety. They are cheap and plentiful due to their short gestation period. They take only seven days from planting to harvest, thanks to the skill of the Citizen-Scientists at the Genetic Mutation Research Council, and are used by City food emporiums to make chippes, a delicacy where globules of potato mush are formed into rectangles and deep-fried in dog lard.

Pickle Street Market: Culture & Street Entertainment
When the market closes for the day, the traders go off to the pub, leaving behind the traditional array of rotting fruit and vegetables, paper bags, and other tantalising assortments of foods mingled with indescribable mounds of other matter over the roadway and pavements.

Later, just after closing time, they stagger out of the pubs and partake in Street-Brawls, a tradition with a long history dating back to Year Zero, involving Hedbutts, Gonadkiking, and other humorous violence, often slipping on the rotting mush of food and fracturing their skulls and cracking bones. A delight for the whole family!

Food Precautions
Food poisoning from Outland fruit and vegetables is a major cause of death in the City of Empires, and attained first place in the fatality charts alongside Arrest and Interrogation by the OSS.

These figures, however, are before the numerous fatalities from the fast food stores are taken into account, with the Big Banquet Burger chain and Kevin's Kebab Kingdom being the major contenders for the food fatality crown.

It has become a matter of immense pride for hardened members of the City populace to regularly eat from these most dangerous of venues and still live to tell the tale to strangers. Make sure you take your family on a tour of dangerous eateries!

Back to Tourism Menu
Shopping: Fun & Restrictions

Failure to report a crime, allowing a crime to take place, or being victim of a crime through carelessness or incompetence, constitutes committing the crime.

The Party is watching. The Party is listening. The Party knows all.

Reproduction of any material without prior permission will be deemed treason and punishable
by immediate arrest, imprisonment , prolonged torture, and subsequent death

The Forbidden History Antony Kershaw 2003
The Armageddon Clause; Armageddon Site Design; The Forbidden History; Metal Gods; Antony Kershaw 1998-2003